Making it my own....

Today I am not at work. Today I am remembering. And running and baking and doing work.

While running in a splendid temperature of 6 degrees and in a light mist I pondered why geese poop so much. I cannot stand when it gets stuck in my shoes. To compensate, I ran around every bit of it as best as I could.

While running I thought about how nice it is to have miles and miles of paths along the waterfront, relatively far from traffic and very close to my home. The running paths are one of the few things I miss about Ottawa.

While running I thought about how I wish I had more time to run, blog, make unnecessary telephone calls, socialize and wander around the city. Such is my life.

While electric guitar plays in the background...

The good side of the tape is playing and the wine is going down just a bit too easy. Yes. The tape. The mechanics of the Lakeshore waste containers continue to impress and evening outdoor Shakespeare shows remind me of younger days …

Watermelon on the grass for a quarter and literary summaries so as to not lose the finer points. Don’t forget the chair. Blankets are inadequate.

It’s like corn on the cob. Innocent and sweet. Plentiful and satisfying. Daddy’s little girl.

Could it bring you to your knees?

That was always my least favourite part of church. I preferred the music.

But do I really want to return?

Perhaps it is about time. This vacation is for the birds.

Running through their crap is frustrating. It ruins my flow. I imagine what it is going to be like to remove.

You Can’t Do That On Television.

I didn’t like that green goop, either.

Here we are with our running and confusion, and I don't see no confusion anywhere.

Where is home?

Is it anywhere in the city you live? Is it the house where you grew up? Is it where you fall asleep at night? Is it where you feel most comfortable or comforted?

I recall speaking to a parent when I first moved away from "home" just short of a decade ago. We confused what I meant by "home" because she thought I meant her house and I thought I meant mine.

City and Colour made me think of this today. So did the comments of a friend.

I'm indifferent, I think. I am not comfortable in my childhood home. I have never looked at my other homes as permanent. I certainly am a guest at most of the other places I spend time. Being a guest doesn't equate to being home. It's a funny change of perspective. It's also one that isn't entirely unwelcome. It's proof that at the end of the day change is good. It provides character, strength and insulting independence.

A home is not defined by four walls. It is much more. I'll know it when I find it. I certainly haven't yet.

Stop songs

Today was all about Radiohead. Well, to be fair, it was not just about Radiohead ... you know...

I think it's the lyrics that get me *here.* They pull at strings and I find myself saying "ya ... I hear you, Tom."

Red wine and sleeping pills Help me get back to your arms Cheap sex and sad films Help me get where I belong Stop sending letters Letters always get burned It's not like the movies They fed us on little white lies I will see you in the next life Beautiful angel Pulled apart at birth Limbless and helpless I can't even recognize you

Finding Solace in What I Love Best

I've been listening to a lot of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club lately. Different music for different days.

I never thought I'd see it comin' I never thought I'd ever know Nothin' seems to take me over Nothin' seems to let me go.

I also keep looking over to my flowers. So simple and so pretty and I wonder why they are so appreciated (and I'm not convinced that it is just a "chick" thing).

It's nice to know that you're appreciated, wanted, liked, loved. It's nice to know that someone is thinking about you.

But I know that you're so confused and afraid I just want to be one true thing that don't fade I don't wanna give up tomorrow.

And really - what is wrong with that?

So I'll wrap myself in my music ... dream away the next few days ... except my world ... and move on. It's what I do best, you know.